|
|
Hi Brett. As a former professional football player,
nobody has to remind you of the importance of having the right gear and
the skill and knowledge to use it. I mean, come on, you wouldn't use your
athletic supporter for an ankle brace, right? Though I'm guessing Travis
Jervey might have used his as a head band at one point. Crazy kid. Anyway,
here's some of the stuff you'll need, what it will cost and some items
you could borrow from me if money is tight.
| Tent |
Tarptent Rainbow |
215.00 |
|
The North Face Slickrock (1) |
FREE! |
| Sleeping Bag |
Mountain Hardware Phantom (long) |
265.00 |
|
Sierra Designs synthetic (2) |
FREE! |
| Sleeping Pad |
Therm-A-Rest Prolite
3 3/4 |
75.00 |
|
Therm-A-Rest (long) |
FREE! |
| Stove |
MSR Pocket Rocket |
40.00 |
|
MSR Dragonfly (3) |
FREE! |
| Hiking Boots |
Something that fits |
180.00 |
|
Not mine---sorry pal |
180.00 |
| Backpack |
Granite Gear Vapor Trail |
160.00 |
|
Gregory Forester |
FREE! |
| Rain jacket |
Marmot Precip |
100.00 |
|
Extended rain poncho |
FREE! |
| Rain pants |
Marmot Precip |
70.00 |
|
Don't need if using poncho (4) |
FREE! |
| Food Storage |
Ursack |
65.00 |
|
Generic large stuff sack (5) |
FREE! |
| Misc. Gear |
varies |
200.00 |
|
|
200.00 |
| Misc. Clothing |
varies |
200.00 |
|
Sorry. See note (6) below |
200.00 |
| TOTAL |
|
1570.00 |
|
|
580.00 |
- Knowing your legendary flatulence can clear
a room in mere seconds, this mostly mesh tent was built for gas passers
like you.
- The label says this is a 20 degree bag. I say
"bullshit", but you'll be able to tell for sure if you become
hypothermic. This bag belongs to my oldest son but he hardly ever uses
it so feel free to fart at will while shivering inside it's overrated
warmth.
- This option raises the possibility of mild
starvation to "near certain" due to the fact that this stove
is a piece of shit and may quit working for no apparent reason at any
given time. I'd go with the pocket rocket unless you're gaining a lot
of weight from laying around the house all day and need to lose a few
pounds.
- This option raises your probability of dying
from hypothermia to "highly likely", but you did survive that
frigid NFCC game in January so you might be OK.
- If you want to share your grub with rodents
and possibly bears, this is the way to go, but if the stove craps out
first you won't care.
- Surprisingly, your ass looks bigger than mine
so I doubt you'd fit into any of my pants. Then again, they say TV adds
ten pounds. The good news is that I might have gotten fat enough over
the winter to stretch out some of my shirts just enough for you to fit
into!
|
